Tips for Helping Your Student Transition

The beginning of college life can be difficult for students.  They go from the top of the ladder to the bottom rung.  Familiar faces are now unfamiliar.  More is expected of them, and more responsibility falls on them to be at class on time and get work done.  Maybe they thought they had people all figured out, as they found they could understand others in high school with similar backgrounds.  Now, they are challenged even in this way as they meet people from various backgrounds and cultures.  This transition can be difficult, and parental support is essential for your student to successfully experience ll that college has to offer.

However, don’t  underestimate the difficulties going to college can have on you as parents as you transition into this new support role for your student.  If the student is living on campus, this may be the first time he or she lives away from home.  Maybe the student only calls home for money or a favor.  Maybe he or she doesn’t call much at all, or seems to notice all that you do for him or her.  Rest assured, reasons may exist for these behaviors that are more than they seem.

This is an important time for your student.  He or she must think about things differently while building their support network of friends from scratch or nearly nothing.  The first six weeks of the freshman year is the most critical time of a college year with regard to college retention and a need for support.  Students must quickly adapt to the coursework and newfound freedom, while meeting as many new faces as possible.  How can you help him or her during this first month?

• Call once in a while to find out he or she is doing, but don’t overdo it. Show that you care, but without having the student feel like you’re hanging over him or her.
• Listen to what he or she is concerned about. Sometimes the student only needs you to hear his or her frustrations. Other times it might help to know a few places to suggest him or her to go for help such as an academic advisor or Counseling and Psychological Services.
• Encourage him or her to get involved in something. Studies show that students who are involved in campus life, whether actively engaging professors or administrators, or getting involved in clubs, organizations, or intramural sports, drastically improves chances of success in college.
• Don’t feel bad if he or she doesn’t call every night, or even every other night.  Students will need this first six weels to meet others and gain that support network of friends, and often this takes precedence over many other issues surrounding them.
• Ask the student how he or she does on that first exam or quiz. Tell him or her you’re proud, or give encouragement if the first result is less than satisfactory.
• If your student commutes, chances are that some of these transitions will be tougher because the student does not live directly on campus, and may have a part time job on the side. So, the student must make an extra effort to meet others and become adjusted to campus life. Encourage him or he to hang out on campus after class or visit others met in class or at events.

As your student progresses through college, it is important to find the new balance that will exist between guiding your student and letting him or her make decisions.  Sometimes it is better to let the student make a wrong decision so he or she learns from the mistake than to step in before anything happens, forgoing the learning opportunity.  As freshman year progresses, here are a few new things to consider as you guide your student to success:

• Don’t get upset when the student only seems to call to ask for money, but be sure to let him or her know how things are at home.  He or she does want to know.
• Don’t take it personally if he or she does not come home often on the weekends.  In fact, it is a better idea to encourage him or her to stay on campus more often on weekends to connect with the University and other students, especially in the first year.  This interaction will lead to better connections for now and the future, and expanded learning opportunities.